Garden them and water them

Good company and dancing are two important factors in making a day really super. Today has both of...

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:18:03 -0400

Good company and dancing are two important factors in making a day really super. Today has both of those. And not just good company, but some of my favourite company.

I have all the right ingredients for today, I hope I can put them together into a most marvelous dish.

knitmeapony: Photo: Bruce Sterling via boingboing

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:06:35 -0400

knitmeapony:

Photo: Bruce Sterling via boingboing

Six reasons the #FitchtheHomeless campaign is problematic

Thu, 16 May 2013 14:06:35 -0400

Six reasons the #FitchtheHomeless campaign is problematic:

polycule:

My thoughts exactly.

Woah, good morning privilege, I didn’t see you there. I mean, don’t get me wrong,...

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:53:00 -0400

Woah, good morning privilege, I didn’t see you there.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to have part time employment now however menial and limited in hours it may be but I have the feeling that my young, blond, binary gender perks came into that process and I don’t like it.

This week I feel like a good little queer, reclaiming spaces hostile to me in the past. I think...

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:36:42 -0400

This week I feel like a good little queer, reclaiming spaces hostile to me in the past.

I think some of that effort is paying off and it feels like acceptance and love.

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:48:29 -0400

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:42:26 -0400

araeni: gerrybaboona: THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PHOTOSET IN...

Wed, 15 May 2013 19:36:27 -0400

araeni:

gerrybaboona:

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PHOTOSET IN THE WORLD

This movie.

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 14:06:36 -0400

whooot. cant sleep.. whooooooooot. -.-

Wed, 15 May 2013 05:48:05 -0400

whooot. cant sleep.. whooooooooot.

-.-

filharmagic: it’s ok to not be sure about your sexuality/gender ok guys? no matter how old you are....

Tue, 14 May 2013 22:54:21 -0400

filharmagic:

it’s ok to not be sure about your sexuality/gender ok guys? no matter how old you are. even if you’re in a relationship. even if you told everyone one thing. it’s really ok to not be sure because you’re growing and learning more about yourself ♬(ノ゜∇゜)ノ♩

Insecurity and Reassurance In Poly Relationships

Tue, 14 May 2013 21:48:08 -0400

drinkskinksandlife:

People who are not polyamorous always wonder how I can be poly and not feel jealousy. They miss the point completely. I do feel jealousy, in fact, sometimes it can be maddeningly intense, laced with rage, anger, fear and hatred. The trick to polyamory is not that we don’t get jealous.

The first thing one must recognize is that jealousy is not about your partner or what they are doing, its about your own insecurities. In any relationship it is normal to fall into using your partners’ feelings for you as validation of you own worth and value. So when you see your partner having similar feelings for another person, your foundation is rocked. That is the root of jealousy.

There are a couple ways to deal with this. Its your ego that’s hurting, and its your responsibility. In the end, no one else is responsible for you sense of self but you. Even when you’re in a relationship, making your partner responsible for how you feel about who you are is unfair to them and unhealthy for the relationship. Been there, done it, lost the best relationship in my life (so far) because of it. Just don’t do it.

With that being said, you do have the right to express your feelings to your partner. Not in an effort to guilt them or manipulate them into behaving differently, but to vent them, and feel heard and let your partner know how you’re feeling and give them the opportunity to make choices about how they respond. It also helps to open up a dialogue between you two about boundaries and needs, etc. But YOU have to take responsibility for how you feel and NOT come off as blaming your partner or expecting them to do anything other than listen and acknowledge your feelings.

As the member of a relationship who has a new interest outside the relationship, you have a choice to make. While you are not responsible for your partner’s sense of self, if you value your relationship with them, you can choose to do things to reassure them of your feelings for them, so long as you don’t allow them to manipulate you into violating your own sense of self or those of your new interest.

What this boils down to is simple. When you meet someone new, and your hormones are raging and you think about this new person all the time, you can bet you’re other partner is feeling insecure, so make an effort to show them (not just tell them) that they are just as important to you as always, that they are not being replaced. Do special things for them, make sure they get quality time with you, don’t devote all your energies toward your new interest, remember, the new person might just be a fling, you’ve got a lot more invested in your existing partner, treat them as such.

This didn’t happen in my last relationship, at least not very well, and it made maintaining trust and faith in my partner increasingly difficult.

Adding a new partner to your life while maintain other partners is difficult, but not only possible, its rewards are amazing when it all settles out. This stuff isn’t for amateurs, polyamory is strictly for pros who take responsibility for their emotions, honest and open communication, and are willing to devote themselves to the efforts.

"Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are,..."

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:42:31 -0400

“Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.”

- Augustine of Hippo (via hollow-gram)

hateruess: yo fuck anyone who doesn’t want you in their life and fuck anyone who treats you bad and...

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:36:08 -0400

hateruess:

yo fuck anyone who doesn’t want you in their life and fuck anyone who treats you bad and fuck anyone who breaks your heart because they’re all fuckin losers and they’re definitely not worth your time because your time is precious and the only people who deserve it are people who treat you right and are nice and don’t lie to you and buy you ice cream.

allons-y-10: jaba-the-slut: The wisdom from movies you never...

Tue, 14 May 2013 18:30:08 -0400

allons-y-10:

jaba-the-slut:

The wisdom from movies you never notice until they are transformed into a gifset.

no day but today

"At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can."

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:24:31 -0400

“At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.”

- Frida Kahlo (via xxxvii)

neck kissing is really fucking hot though

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:18:23 -0400

neck kissing is really fucking hot though

frostbackscat: bearcuts: a few little msb doodles from...

Tue, 14 May 2013 15:12:18 -0400

frostbackscat:

bearcuts:

a few little msb doodles from february i haven’t put up here yet!

NO CARLOS, I DON’T GET IT, EXPLAIN YOUR REASONING

Photo

Tue, 14 May 2013 14:06:27 -0400

Yesterday I did something which made my mother say “is it still possible to trade you in for a...

Tue, 14 May 2013 13:21:00 -0400

Yesterday I did something which made my mother say “is it still possible to trade you in for a less crazy child?”

That thing I was doing was listening to Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper…

I mean, I know she was joking but if she’s weirded out by me liking music from decades that aren’t this one, things like coming out right and proper or working in sexuality and gender are going to be quite the shocking experience…