whencylonsdream:
Like, even from people that are fucking awesome about everything else.
It never seems to cross peoples minds to be inclusive towards trans women.
It never seems to cross peoples minds to acknowledge trans women.
It never seems to cross peoples minds that without inclusive and acknowledging statements, trans women need to assume that we aren’t wanted.
We NEED to do this because we are tired as fuck of assuming that we are being included.
We are tired of coming into women’s groups and being victimized and abused.
We are tired of going to rape crisis centers and being turned away because our existence is triggering.
We are tired of wanting a safe space and then being told WE are the rapists, the deceivers, the monsters, and the child molesters.
We are tired of being the punchline and the joke. The fetish object and “best of both worlds” so long as we’re gone by morning.
Never mind the fact that many of us are victims of rape.
That many of us have dealt with child abuse.
That many of us have been physically assaulted.
That all of us live and deal with the constant deceptive nature of cis people.
We NEED to assume we aren’t wanted. Because the whole wide world is telling us we’re trash and we can’t be arsed to assume that you actually meant to include us when you said fucking nothing.
We don’t have the fucking luxury to assume that we are being included.
So yeah…
Make it damn clear that you want us around.
Make it clear that you won’t put up with transmisogyny.
Make it clear that you view us as women. That you view us as fucking people.
I’d like to see some fucking solidarity, but I wonder if this will even be reblogged?
And if it is reblogged I wonder how many people that aren’t trans women will do so?
I’m honestly not betting much, so I guess we’ll see.
Dear trans* women:
I love you. I support you. I will do what I can to promote equality for you because I see you as equal to cis-women and equal to all humans.
HOWEVER.
I don’t appreciate this guilt trip method of “I bet you won’t support us and the only way I’ll believe it is if you reblog it” this OP uses to ask if there are supporters of trans* women.
And this honestly isn’t a “Oh no someone made me feel sad and I’m rejecting their feelings in favour of my own” reaction. Because I don’t feel sad nor guilty because I know that I do my best to make trans* women feel safe and equal and included in my life. This is a “hey this is a really shitty way of asking for ‘proof’ of solidarity” reaction to that post.
Using guilt to try to make people ‘prove’ their solidarity is really hurting your own cause because you don’t shouldn’t WANT people to reblog this out of guilt. You should want people to post about their solidarity because of their love and acceptance for trans* women. Guilt is a shitty motivator because it makes people feel attacked.
Doesn’t everyone hate those “Reblog this picture of a cat with only three legs or YOU HAVE NO HEART” or “I bet only 3% of ~~real Christians~~ will put this as their Facebook status to show how much they love Jesus” things? And many who reblog those either do so disingenuously (“I don’t want people to think I have no heart! I don’t want my friend to think I don’t love Jesus!”) or do so out of a place of self-righteousness.
Or, like me, do so out of a place of indignation. Yes, I love trans* women and I want them to know I support them and will do what I can for them! But no, I don’t want to be “challenged” to “prove” my solidarity out of guilt, because that’s not what solidarity is about.
All of this post was great (and by that I mean “important and worth reblogging”) except for the last three lines. This post was worth reblogging without that guilt-trip challenge at the end. This post should stand on its own and deserves thousands of reblogs. But not with those last three lines.
Trans* women, I want you around. I want you to feel safe. I want you to BE safe. I want you to be treated as equals. And I say all of those things out of love, not out of guilt, not out of fear of someone thinking less of me if I stay silent, not off of a high horse of being the ~best~ ally and the ~most tolerant~ person. I just love you. And I want everyone else to love you, too. That’s all.
Rebloging for both support of trans-people (cause you’re awesome) from the OP and for the anti-guilt-trippy response. They’re both great chunks of text in their own rights.
